Dead Man's Body

Life

Posted July 24, 2007 at 12:57 pm by Severed Head

My dead body is worth $5380
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Beat that, motherfuckers. Next, I will be examining the value of all my friend’s dead bodies, which may or may not be sold on the black market when they die. Wink wink nudge nudge.

2 comments

Freed?

Uncategorized

Posted July 22, 2007 at 9:30 am by Severed Head

You may notice that it is 9:30 (originally, I wrote 7:40, but I forgot to submit this) in the morning. As many of you know, I am supposed to be at work right now. But after an hour and a half of waiting for the manager to come open the doors, I had to pee, so I left. I’m not going back. Not today at least. Not Tuesday, when I’m next scheduled, either. If they can’t understand that I’m unavailable Tuesdays, like I have been for the last 2 months, that is their problem.
Freed from the chains of retail forever, perhaps? I’d like to think so.

3 comments

COMING SOON: THE BIBLE 2: NOW MORE FUN EDITION

Comics, Conspiracies, Fun, Fun Facts, Grammar, Guitar, Life, Music, Plane, Propaganda, Snakes, Website

Posted July 21, 2007 at 8:34 pm by Severed Head

The highly anticipated sequel to The Bible 1 is coming to you soon, with more pictures, more sexual innuendo, more robots, more lasers, more explosions, more zombies, more propaganda, and NOW. MORE. FUN. MOTHERFUCKER! Including the Book of Harrison and the Book of Metal!
If you would like to write a book for the new bible, go ahead and write one and send it in to me/post it here/sprarypaint it on the side of a building. It doesn’t have to be canon with what any of the other books, but it also doesn’t have to be as contradictory as The Bible 1.
This is going to be an ongoing project which changes over time, again, much like The Bible 1.

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Any volunteers?

Fun, Propaganda

Posted July 20, 2007 at 11:01 pm by Severed Head

We can totally do this, guys. You may think I’m kidding…. But am I? If I can get enough people, no!

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Previous Headline x2

Comics, Conspiracies, Fun, Fun Facts, Life, Snakes

Posted July 19, 2007 at 12:55 pm by Severed Head

This literally makes me want to cry. What the crap? Can you imagine that happening to you? I would probably kill myself

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Pretty freaking creepy

Conspiracies

Posted July 15, 2007 at 3:48 pm by Severed Head

It seems at 2:25 or so, Sam is getting pretty pissed and is about to blast the FUCK out of everybody. MACHINES ARE PERFECT ARE PERFECT ARE PERFECT MOTHERFUCKER

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Newsflash

Conspiracies, Fun, Guitar, Life, Music, Website

Posted July 13, 2007 at 12:07 pm by Severed Head

Man am I going broke. Here are just a few of the big (relative to subs and taco bell at least) ticket purchases I’ve made in the past few days
$143-320 GB Hard Drive (believe it or not, I was running out of room on my 120 GB hard drive set aside solely for music)
$55-Godaddy.com renewal (for this website for one year)
$56-Condenser Studio Mic (for better recording)
$35-Pimpmylaptop.com skin (is going to rock so freaking hard, you don’t even know)
$240-Parking pass at ASU (lot 59)

I am continuously updating “Things To Do Before I Die” so check it the fuck out.

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Ode to the great one

Propaganda

Posted July 7, 2007 at 10:43 pm by Severed Head

The reason why Conan is the best is because even when he bombs, in the monologue, or elsewhere, he is still hilarious. Or he makes it funny. Somehow. Nobody has skits or jokes quite as awkward as Conan does, and I think that, in that way, he’s a lot more accessible. Leno and Letterman seem a bit less like human beings. And I honestly just cannot find either of them funny. Their sidekicks/band leaders suck too. It’s like watching some go, “I’m so wacky!” when he is clearly not. But Max and Conan really do seem to have some weird great chemistry. And any joke about/including Max or La Bamba is going to be hilarious.
Conan interacts with his guests a lot better. I think he makes them feel more comfortable or really brings out something hilarious in them. Watching interviews with Leno and Carson just seems painful. Not so sure about Letterman though.
Conan does not rely on the same skit/joke night after night, and changes it up a bit more. While he has his trademark movies, especially during the dialogue, these are not overdone like Letterman’s Top Ten.
Who else really compares on late night? Nobody. I mentioned Leno and Letterman, who are the other 2 big hosts. Kilborn sucked. Kimmel is all right, but not great. Carson is just an embarassment to anyone who’s ever watched television. The only others who could compare I think are Colbert and Stewart, though they are not on basic cable… Or Space Ghost
Conan also has the history. He was a writer for both The Simpson’s and SNL during their good days. He also hosted the Emmy’s… and was on Futurama, which holds a very special spot in my heart… and The Office, though very very briefly.
How is this not the greatest talk show host on television?

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Good band names

Conspiracies, Fun Facts, Life, Music, Propaganda, Snakes

Posted July 2, 2007 at 11:13 pm by Severed Head

Check it
My favorites:
Centaur Rodeo
Devil Siphon
Iron Grip
Panther Squeeze
Iron Promise
Wolfpack Crunch
Flea Flicker (already taken as a band name! shit!)
Thunder Cat!?
Smokewagon (already taken like 8 times)
Swamp Fox (another one!)
Glory Light

1 bloody comment

Victory strikes again

Fun, Life

Posted July 1, 2007 at 3:38 pm by Severed Head

Yes
Look at that post. Read it. Now bask in the glory that is progress. I have secured my spot in an apartment with Joe. I have a car. I have met Les Claypool. I have written so many songs, although none of them are quite finished, though one must ask whether a song can ever be finished. I have been to Washington. Jake is moving closer. I have calmed my anger. I have taken classical guitar lessons and improved my abilities exponentially. I have resisted the temptations of joining a cult. I moved my room around and have made my home the perfect place to live, where I can sleep and listen to wonderful music and record guitar no fucking problem! I haven’t stopped believin or holding on to that feeling.
I was worried about how soon the school year was, but it is still a month and a half away. We are only about halfway through the summer. As fast as it has gone, it feels like I have accomplished a lot. On the to do list though: Hang out with more friends I don’t normally hang out with, complete my room by putting up posters, record MORE AND MORE AND MORE, get a good job, READ, road trip (?), and spend time alone.
Hell yes. Though there aren’t as many giant accomplishments or big events, I feel like this is one of the best summers I’ve ever had.

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